For most of my life I didn’t know how to receive. I was always taught to give. I enjoyed giving. I loved the feeling it gave me to give and make others happy. I always loved making other people’s lives easier. When I was younger I would do as much around the house as I could so Mum wouldn’t have to do it all. I would do as much as I could as a nurse so my patient was as comfortable as possible and the next nurse would not be overloaded with extra work to do. I would help out at parties, go to every event I was invited to which included: dinners, coffee catch ups and meetings. I would also help out friends and family members that were going through challenging times and then I would do some more.
What did I learn from all this? It is not sustainable. I was constantly up and down and as I was giving so much to others I didn’t have time for me. My life became out of control. I had bouts of depression, anxiety and what I now realize, I didn’t feel good enough to give to myself. I stayed busy giving to others to mask the truth that I didn’t feel worthy of love.
I pushed people away in not receiving. I didn’t give others the opportunity to also give and feel the beauty of making a difference in another’s life. I did make a difference in other peoples lives by giving but what I didn’t know is that I could also make a difference in my own life by receiving. Life didn’t have to be hard, I made it that way.
Learning how to receive came from the tough lesson of causing myself extra physical, emotional and mental pain in breaking my wrist. I tried and tried to do it alone but thankfully I had a severe break down and I gave up. I had no choice but to surrender and allow support from others. The pain became too much.
Mum said, “Will you come home now and let us help you?” I had no choice but to say yes as I couldn’t do it alone anymore. It actually felt good to let go of my ego and admit I needed help. I admitted to others and to myself that I had a choice and I could choose an easy road in life. I could continue down the destructive road I was on or take a leap of faith and step onto an easy road.
It was a very unfamiliar road initially. I put one foot in front of the other and placed my trust in others. As I learnt to receive the path became brighter, the road smoother and then familiar. I started being generous to myself. As I received from self I felt happy. I learnt how to play, have fun and that I was good enough.
I learnt balance. In receiving I allowed others to give and we could contribute to each other. I could make more of an impact in others lives because I had made a difference in my own. My wheels became solid, well rounded, full of life and started to move effortlessly. Life became easy and the road wider and more exciting.
When you receive you allow others to give. When you give you allow others to receive and so balance in life can take place and the wheels in motion to a full and rich life. One of my mentors said, “What is the first thing a baby does when it enters this world?” I shook my head. He said, “Takes a breath.” “Receives the breath of life”. It is natural to receive and walk the path of least resistance. I was off the path for a while and grateful for the experience to now know what ease is. To really experience life in its glory.
It is the small things. One step in front of the other, a breath in and out and the gratitude to feel love of self at the deepest level in it’s simplicity. To have time to smell the roses, feel the softness and experience the richness of life that we so deserve and came to experience. Why receive? It is our birth right, natural and fulfilling. You are life, you need life and are worthy of life. In life there is only love. Tough love and compassionate love. Bumping us back on track to find the road home to know I am loveable. I am that I am.
It is your time to RECEIVE!!
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