Do you remember when you found out Santa wasn't real? I do. I can't remember exactly how old I was but if I rang Mum she would be able to tell me. My Mum was more traumatised by this experience than I was. I recall being at a Christmas party where someone dressed up as Santa and we were all given presents. As I received my gift from Santa one of the girls slightly older than me proclaimed, "You know Santa isn't real?" I remember being confused, if Santa isn't real then "What else isn't real?"
My bubble was broken. The belief in something greater, mysterious, so loving and generous was gone. My belief in the magic of life and that dreams do come true was shattered. Overtime I began to question life, worry and give up on anything is possible. I began to believe that if you want something then you have to work dam hard for it. I did it really well. Working hard became my norm and I did achieve lots but it was at the detrachment of my own health and sanity. I pushed myself to the limits, doing, forcing and charging through life as I had lost self belief. I stopped trusting in the magic of life and that anything is possible.
Little did I realise that magic was happening all around me. But I was too busy to see it. In order to give my poor stressed mind some time out, I used to day dream. When life was hard I would day dream of an alternate reality where my dreams came true. My favourite time to day dream was when I was driving on the freeway back to my home town of Ballarat. Without realising it I learn't how to become my own Santa and manifest my dreams into reality.
I was going through a particularly challenging time in 2010 when I was completing a Post Grad at Melbourne Uni. I was "doing" it all. Working two jobs, studying, training for a half marathon and continued with my busy social life. Amidst all the craziness I broke my wrist which made life even harder and more stressful. On my way back to Ballarat I would day dream of completing my Post Grad and wining the highly prestigious Order of Malta Award. I would visualise myself accepting the award, feeling excited and the joy of achieving following all of my efforts.
Now I understand I was manifesting my desires into reality. I was putting my subconscious mind in Theta state whilst driving which is a relaxation state and showing my mind a new reality by visualising. The subconscious mind doesn't know what is past, present or future. It just thinks all time is happening now. Through visualising and feeling the emotions of it already achieved I was collapsing the quantum field of potentiality and bringing it to my reality. The subconscious mind always needs to be right so brings you the persons, places, times and events to bring this reality to fruition.
I started attracting the support I required once I had a massive breakdown and surrendered to help. I also now know that pain is good! Pressure is good! I was under so much pressure and emotional pain that I had a break down. In this break down my ego surrendered to my higher self. My higher self started to take the driving seat and I allowed support. My sister flew down from Cairns to be my other arm, I found the "right" articles I needed to research, I allowed myself to take sick leave when I initially resisted it and found the "right" mentor to answer my questions.
All persons, places, times and events lined up for my subconscious mind to be "right" and I won the Order of Malta Award. As I look back on this time, it was a miracle and shows me now that anything is possible and I am the Santa Claus of my own life granting my wishes. I continue to "day dream" and visualise my dreams as already achieved and miracles keep unfolding. I thought it was all a coincident but now know it is being Success on Purpose.
My belief in something greater has returned as I allow my higher self to take the drivers seat in my life. I believe in me and the power of what I can create. I have had to give up the HOW? to allow and have faith in the unknown and have returned to the mystery of the universe and what it can provide.
I now trust in the magic of life and the Santa Claus within that knows anything is possible!!