The truth is I wouldn't do anything differently if I had my time again, as I would have skipped the lessons. When we cut corners or skip lessons it doesn't allow for solid foundations. Mum was watching a movie the other night of an oil rig that was on fire. I asked "Why is it on fire?" Mum responded with "Because they cut corners in the development". The oil rig wasn't strong enough to withstand the pressures and caused a fire! The brilliant thing is, that as I have learnt the lessons, I can support others on how to build the solid foundations rather than having to learn the hard way! How to put out the fire within?!
My whole philosophy in life now is learning through ease, after many years of learning through hard. The truth is, life is meant to be fun and easy. Go figure! I was taught it had to be hard, you had to try and then you are worth it. It is actually the other way around. You are worth it now and can choose to have fun and life be easy.
Here are my number 10 lessons:
Learn how to BE- I was always a human doing rather than a human being. I had no idea how to BE. Interesting that we are human beings. I learnt how to BE through being so tired, stressed, depressed and anxious that I couldn't hold it together anymore. Learning to BE was like starting life all over again. It came from a first step. Each step led to the next step and for a while I was doing the being and then became the being. Being comes from not trying. When you can let your thinking mind go and just daydream. My first step was a daily practice of 5 minutes of deep breathing.
2. To trust my intuition- Many a time I had a feeling a knowing. Particularly as a nurse. I felt when patients were "not right". On paper all looked ok but my feeling was something was not quite right. I became great at trusting that intuition as events showed me I was right. I found Doctor's trusted me. What I didn't trust was my intuition when it came to my own life. There were times when my intuition told me "no". My head would say, "give them another try". This lead to much disappointment that I now know could have been everted if I listened to my intuition.
3. Not to put people on pedestals- I did this heaps! Always thought that people were better than me. Smarter, faster, prettier, more knowledgeable, funnier, more confident and had it all going on. What I learnt was when I put others on a pedestal I put myself in the pit. It is not fair to others or myself. I learnt we are all equal. No one is better or worse.
4. Be my own best friend- For such a long time I was my worst friend, my worst enemy. I was my hardest critic and judged myself so much. This kept me in a constant stress response and full of anxiety. I was never enough and the high achiever became activated. I never allowed myself to enjoy life. As I have become my own best friend I have learn't not to take life so serious and it can then be enjoyed!
5. Be different- I spent most of my life trying to fit in which is soul destroying. Wanting to be the same and conform. Now all I want is to be different and access my uniqueness. When we are trying to be the same we are hiding. I used to hide. I would say to my past self. No need to hide, shine your light as you are amazing and have much to offer the world. Just BE you.
6. Put yourself first- When you put on your oxygen mask, you can then support others and give them permission to put on their oxygen mask too. I now say, "You are no good dead". That was how i used to treat myself. Putting myself last so that I was exhausted and nearly dead. It gave me no opportunity to enjoy life. This was a scarcity mentality. I learnt that there is more than enough oxygen for everyone!
7. Slow down- Life is a marathon not a sprint. I was always trying to get somewhere thinking then that will make me happy. What I learnt in the slowing down is that it allowed life to speed up. What I was working towards started to come to me. When we slow down it allows the feeling of ease and presence which allows life to happen rather than resisting it.
8. Permission to enjoy life! Worry is a waste of time- Worry is the brain trying to work out how, why etc etc and emits fear into the body. Fear is very addictive and it creates thoughts to keep worrying to get more fear. When you give up worrying you give the brain the opportunity to become addicted to love. I learn't to choose love over fear.
9. Pain is all emotional- My bad back, stiff neck, headaches, anxiety, depression etc etc was all emotional. Instead of thinking through life, feel your way through life. When I learnt to honour and be with the emotions they released from my body and along with then the limiting beliefs I had created. The pain resolved! I would have loved to learn not to judge emotions they are all equally important.
10. Let it Go- No need to be a control freak. You are safe. It is the holding on that creates resistance and struggle. When you let it go you allow more. New opportunities and new ways of being. Don't hold other people's luggage or your own. Let it go which allows lightness, freedom and joy in!! Allow your light to shine!