As I shared on my Face book live today learning the "Mirror Effect" has changed my life.
From "Success on Purpose" Book
When I learnt to take responsibility for my life and what was presenting, I gained the ability to act and change my circumstances. One of my mentors taught me about the mirror effect, and it would be the most influential piece of wisdom that I ever received. It changed my life, as it allowed me to understand the saying, ‘Life is a reflection of your inner reality.’ I was able to go within and clean up my stuff. It is ongoing, but is getting easier all the time. Once I learnt to rewire my hard-wired brain to easy, that is what started to show up in my reality. My best teachers have been members of my family; they showed me it was never about them but always about me. We can only see in others what is in us, so they showed me what I needed to love and accept in myself. They taught me how to be the change I wished to see in the world.
The yin yang symbol presents the world of opposites. It also presents the opposites in us. If we don’t accept our shadow self, it will continue to control us. That is, it will continue to be mirrored back to us. At times, this can be quite a confronting realisation, as the people that annoy you the most, frustrate you the most and make you the most angry, are actually a reflection of you. We are always looking at ourselves in the mirror. When we learn to love ourselves, our interactions with the world change. The people that are loving, kind, fun and compassionate are also a mirror of us.
‘Inside each of us are two wolves. One is evil. One is good. Which wolf wins? The one you feed the most.’ – Unknown
Our toughest critics and the people that make us the most angry are our greatest teachers. They are teaching us how to be loving and compassionate to ourselves. This realisation will change your life! You will start to look at people with compassion, because what you’ll actually be looking at when you’re observing others is a piece of yourself. When you are judging others, you are judging yourself. Some of those toughest critics, the people that appear to be the most dark, are actually making sacrifices for others. They are teaching us how to be the light to brighten up the room.
A great teacher for me was a colleague at work. She would always rub me up the wrong way and was called a bully. I found her intense, judgemental, controlling, a perfectionist and she always had to be right. When I learnt the mirror effect I started to look within. All the qualities I saw in her were in me.
There were times when I was intense, worrying for the sake of worrying and caring too much about people. I was actually holding them in that space and not allowing them to find their own inner resources to access their power. I was actually trying to carry myself, as I didn’t know how to support myself. It was also my need to be needed.
I was also a perfectionist. I would spend hours getting things just right because I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t trust that I would do well enough and then be judged for it. I didn’t trust that I would succeed the first time so tried extra hard to make sure I did. I didn’t trust that I was good enough and had to prove it to myself. I was comparing myself to others and trying to be the same. I was not enabling my uniqueness to come through.
The best way to embody the "Mirror Effect" is by noticing your judgement, how it makes you feel and then send love to that person. This is then also sending love to the part in yourself you are rejecting. Acknowledge what it is in them that frustrates you ie. controlling, loud, talkative and notice where you are like that or wish you were? Awareness is the key as then you are able to acknowledge those unloved parts of yourself to bring them back to the light.