Last year I was a supporter of the I’m Just a Man Gala Dinner to raise awareness and funds for Men’s Mental Health. Why? As I have had friends who have committed suicide and depression also runs in our family. I was also affected by anxiety and depression growing up and into my 30’s. I did have moments of suicidal ideation although never followed through.
This was my story:
I have always been a deep feeler. What I now understand as an empath. It is my greatest gift today although I had no awareness of what it meant growing up. All I knew was that I felt deeply. I felt such fear, I felt such worry and I felt such pain. I worried about every one and everything. It was exhausting and I became very tired. I became so tired and exhausted that I thought I just wished it would all be over. I felt so different and misunderstood. I tried so hard to please people to feel loved and became “nice”. I was searching for approval as I felt so alone in the world and shamed for not being “good enough”.
As I learnt about myself over the years and what an empath is I have been able to turn what was my greatest fear into my greatest gift which was living and feeling. I so feared living and felt it painful because I was addicted to shame. It is the most addictive emotion which our body gets a massive chemical stimulus from and is always searching for more. This is fed to our body from the neuronet in our brain that is wired “I am not good enough”. Also I feared not making the most of this life and tried too hard feeling like I wasn’t getting anywhere which contributed to my exhaustion.
There were so many times I felt like death. I thought I wanted to die. I was sick and tired of the pain and couldn’t wait to get off this planet. Then one day, I remember the moment vividly I had a new awareness. It wasn’t all of me that wanted to die, it was the “I am not good enough” and the shame associated with it. I allowed my body to go through a massive detox which took years and was incredibly painful but I had hope that on the other side I would find my true nature which is love and “I am more than enough”.
Today being an empath allows me to feel so much love, peace and joy. Emotions that energise me, and allow me to live life to the fullest. I choose ease rather than hard and know “I am more than enough”. I always was more than enough but I became addicted to looking for what was wrong with me rather than what was right with me.
What made the difference for me was surrendering and receiving support. I was very resistant for a long time and it took my biggest breakdown when I couldn’t handle the pain anymore to put my hand out. I actually put my hand out to my higher self and asked, “Could you please show me a better way? I can’t do it anymore”.
With support and a greater awareness of who I am and why I had anxiety and depression, I now live in a very different reality. I am so grateful for all the support I received and am extremely passionate about raising awareness. It is a challenging issue with much stigma attached and I feel it is this stigma and the shame associated which stops people from getting the support they need. I support in both the male and female spaces and this November will be supporting Jim Skivilidas to run I’m Just a Man #2 Gala Dinner.
Here are some disturbing facts found by Jim from I’m Just a Man:
“Suicide is the leading cause of death for Australians aged 15 and 44….” With on average 200 Australians attempt suicide every day and of those, on average 8 will die.
Then there is the stat 6 males suicide every 24 hours
Since the last gala dinner 10 months ago, 1500 males have suicide, a number greater than the road toll
If you know someone that needs immediate support call Lifeline 13 11 14. If you would like to support such a worthy cause you can visit www.imjustaman.com.au and come along to our gala dinner to stand together, support each other and change these statistics so that all know they are more than enough.